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Joke of the Day

"Boss: Isn't your new job kind of a [stifling laughter] sideways move? Crab: [to HR person] see this is what I'm talking about"

"Why is Peter Pan such a terrible pilot? Because he Neverlands"

"What do you call a woman who obsesses over learning about sex? An info-maniac."

"Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint :)"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Apollo ! Apollo who ? Apollogize !"

"I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself."

"Any salad can be a Caesar salad... If you stab it enough times."

"What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? There have been reported sightings of bigfoot"

"I accidentally swallowed some thread a few days ago, and passed it out today. I shit you knot."

"I'm in one of those moods that only a virgin sacrifice will appease."