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Joke of the Day

"So today my dad called me a ""Smart Alec""... ...but I had to remind him, my name is not and never was Alec."

"What's a basic girl's favorite vegetable? Asperrygus"

"Which bird ran for President? H. Ross Parrot"

"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry gets to take the train back."

"Roses are red, Violets are Blue .. Nothing poetic, they are just facts."

"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts..."

"What do you call a gay loaf of bread? A faguette ^^^^I ^^^^just ^^^^made ^^^^this ^^^^up ^^^^and ^^^^I'm ^^^^so ^^^^proud"

"Tried kidnapping Stephen Hawking the other day... Had the blindfold the bastard so he'd stop yelling for help."

"5 dicks So I was at a bar and couldn't help but notice the guy next to me was pissing with 5 dicks. I was like ""Krakens! How do those even fit in your pants?"" He replied ""They fit like a glove."""

"today my internet went out for About 3 minutes...... Met my family downstairs. They seem like nice people."