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Joke of the Day

"Doesn't say much for humanity that the most popular are also the least interesting."

"That moment when someone asks you 'How are you doing?' and you respond 'I'm doing ok. Getting better each day' & they stab you for answering"

"Two Cows are scared of getting mad cow disease A cow walks up to another cow and asks ""Are you scared of Mad Cow Disease?"" He replies, shocked ""No, I'm a Duck."""

"What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities."

"Does anyone know how to get make-up off a dog? Asking for a friend, she's a bitch."

"A man went to the doctors office and said ""I've broken my arm in several places"".... The Doctor tells him ""Well, you should stop going to those places""."

"Why did the hippie drown? He was too *far out*!"

"Anal piercings are just a pain in the ass I'm so sorry"

"What's the difference between a Hoover and a Harley? The position of the dirtbag."

"Soon be Christmas... WHO SAYS doing Christmas shopping early avoids the crush? Last year, I did mine a full 12 months in advance, and the shops were just as busy as ever."