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Joke of the Day

"13YO: Why's he happy? He got dog-piled. Me: He made a lot of groundage before getting put down. Husband: Yardage. Tackled. PLEASE LEAVE."

"Auto correct is like when a 3yo kid wants to help wash the car.its a nice gesture but really its just slowing shit down! :)"

"Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest."

"What does a zombie conductor say? Traaaains."

"I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary... But he couldn't afford her speaking fees"

"I'm at home eating grape jelly. That shit is my jam."

"If u stand in the pouring grain.... Your gonna get all wheat!"

"If you got on a bus with a bunch of gay guys would you stay on or would you get off?"

"Today my parents told me to either move out or get a fucking job. So I became a prostitute."

"There was a gay man from Scoon Who took a lesbian up to his room, They sat on the bed, Then each of them said: ""Now who does what and with which and to whom?"""