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Joke of the Day

"People keep comparing the election to Empire Strikes Back or Revenge Of The Sith... Personally I would have gone with The Star Wars Christmas Special"

"A voter from the 2000 election recognized me. He came up to me and said ""Hey, Chad, how's it hanging?"""

"Me: Did you know a cockroach can live for weeks with no head? Him: That's nothing. Husbands sometimes go for years."

"How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish? One testtickle"

"I've decided to move to southern France... I've got nothing Toulouse."

"Drugs are bad...when they wear off."

"*sees a truck* Nice. *sees a trucker* Oh, impressive. *sees a truckest* Ah yes. This is what I came for."

"NATURAL BLONDE Q: What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair? A: Artifical intelligence."

"What's the difference between a onion and a prostitute? I don't cry when I cut prostitutes."

"After my most recent divorce, I'm now paying alimony to BOTH of my ex-wives... Owe for two."