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Joke of the Day

"Today my parents told me to either move out or get a fucking job. So I became a prostitute."

"What do you call a bunch of skinny people stretching in the snow? Low-fat frozen yoga"

"When speaking to children I always end every sentence with ""...or else you'll die. "" - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup ! Yes it's the rotting meat that attracts them !"

"A package comes in the mail at the post office & it's business as usual... But when I cum in the mail at the post office it's public indecency & a felony.."

"I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things people need to know NASA!"

"What do you call a show full of lions ? The mane event !"

"I did a stand up routine on fonts, but nobody laughed I'm a Comic, Sans the humor."

"My mom laughed when I said me and my brother Al were gonna build a car out of tacos... You should have seen her face when I drove Al pastor."

"People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world."