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Joke of the Day
"I like my girls like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer."
Next Joke
"Mozart, Beethoven, and Schwarzenegger are getting ready to throw a Halloween party. Mozart turns to Arnie and asks, ""what's your costume going to be?"" ""I'll be Bach"""
"""Dad, tell me a joke"" ""Pussy"" ""I don't get it"" ""I know, son"""
"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."
"Did you hear Macklemore changed his name? He's Mackle-less now"
"It just occurred to me that you could substitute Miranda rights for wedding vows. Verbatim"
"Man: Lima is a capital city in South America. Woman: Peru-ve it!"
"What do you call an Italian with no arms? Deaf"
"An iphone user walks into a bar, a hotel, or a field. He's not too sure"
"People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree."