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Joke of the Day

"It is very wrong to ask a woman how much she weighs. (xpost from r/showerthoughts) Weight depends on the gravitational force of the planet you are on. You should ask her how massive she is."

Next Joke
 
"Why do people find it hard to eat vegetables? Wheelchairs are hard to eat"
"I went to a lingerie shop I picked up some pants and asked them server if they were satin He said ""no they're new"""
"""Doctor I think I need glasses!"" ""You certainly do Sir, this is the butchers."""
"OMG! I just got an email (in my bulk mail folder) from Oprah Winfrey!!! She's gonna help me increase the size of my penis!!!"
"Why don't elephants like martinis? Have you ever tried to get an olive out of your nose?"
"[while titanic is sinking] me: [mouth full of shrimp at the buffet] I can't believe no one is eating these lol"
"what did the dildo say to the anal bead? you stink."
"You don't need a parachute to go skydiving: **However**, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice"
"What is the difference between 'Ignorance' and 'Apathy'? I don't know, and I don't care!"