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Joke of the Day

"People are like snowflakes. Individually small and ineffective, but if we work together we can make my step dad crash his car into a tree."

Next Joke
 
"Chicks... ...they only get laid once."
"Why should you never eat Sonic the Hedgehog? He gives your underwear blue streaks."
"[at restaurant] -sees baby screaming in high chair -walks over & picks baby up -walks outside & puts baby down ""You're free,"" I whisper."
"A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P"
"What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher. Girlfriends mom told us this ""joke"". Dad jokes are out, mom's are in."
"Bury it... ...it's my dad's 'dead joke'."
"What do you call a raft full of black people? Smoke on the water. ... My most sincere apologies."
"My 5 year old just ended a phone call with ""I gotta jump, Daddy. I'm out."" And now everyone in my house is officially cooler than me."
"Tiger Woods: He puts the semen in product endorsements. And women. I mean he used to. Crap, can I start over? I've almost got this."