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Joke of the Day

"I was invited to a party... The dress code said ""black tie only"". But when I got there, I noticed other people had worn shirts and trousers too"

"What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!"

"No thanks CVS, I don't need a bag. I'll just wrap up my purchase in the 12 foot receipt you just gave me."

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"My therapy group is a joke. The doctor is supposed to match you with people you have something in common with but everyone here is nuts."

"I argued constantly with my boss, so in the end I got the sack And buried him in it."

"Women are like Siberian Tigers... They're both very pretty to look at, and you can have a lot of fun with each IF they're unconscious, but if its a live one, keep it the *hell* away from me."

"What is the best animal related joke you know? These jokes should be any jokes that are even vaguely related to animals!"

"Are you today's date? because you're an 11/10 (:"

"What does Walter White say when someone tells him a knock-knock joke? Nothing, because he is the one who knocks."