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Joke of the Day

"Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard? He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills."

"My wife and I got into an argument she said 'you should treat me like I'm the last woman on earth' I said- what, lock you down in the basement and let men cum on your face for a million dollars?"

"A majority of my fortune will be spent accurately recreating the obstacle courses of Nickelodeon shows from my childhood."

"My girlfriend's father is pretty religious and said we couldn't make love... which is rather disappointing because he's extremely handsome."

"My internet's signal always lose connection Just like my ex wife"

"A man walks into a bar... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA"

"Yo momma so old, Her birth certificate says EXPIRED"

"[Spain, 1578] ""I'm not a witch!"" But all the cats? ""My pets!"" The broom? ""For cleaning!"" The cauldron of boiling children? ""Ok I'm a witch."""

"What do you call a polar bear who works for Fox News? A bad news bear"

"What do you call the hairiest man in the camp? Jewbacca"