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Joke of the Day
"I hosted my very first orgy last night and it was a total disaster Nobody came."
Next Joke
"How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but she charges me extra for weird stuff"
"I'm the perfect man if you don't factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being."
"I'm convinced some of you are here because someone didn't properly lock your cage."
"I am trying to come up with a joke about the Patriots not winning the Super Bowl but.. I keep having a giant problem with the punchline"
"I feel like MacGyver- given a bottle opener and a bottle of beer, I was able to crudely fashion an open bottle of beer."
"[scale says I've gained 5 pounds] Me: It's probably just what I'm wearing. Wife: You're naked. Me: Wife: Me: It's a heavy deodorant."
"The days of good grammar has went."
"if you ever get caught sleeping on the job... slowly raise your head and say, ""in jesus name amen"""
"The liquid inside a fire hydrant is H^2O, but the liquid on the outside is K9P. Courtesy of schnauzers-rule.com"