71098

Joke of the Day

"I am trying to come up with a joke about the Patriots not winning the Super Bowl but.. I keep having a giant problem with the punchline"

"How can you make a slow horse fast? Don't give him any food."

"The director of ""A Girl in the River"" went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars"

"next year big pixar movie for kids: follow the journey of a single tear down an old womans face as she learns her grandson died in a fire"

"*walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?"

"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."

"How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of."

"My coworkers think it's funny they have power & I don't. I think it's funny how they won't get home to enjoy it cuz their tires are slashed."

"I always wanted a trophy wife, But instead I got a participation medal girlfriend."