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Joke of the Day

"Why can't pirates play any card games? Because someone's always on the deck!"

"will you marry me? ""OMG YES! I love you!!!"" *imagines typing only 4 characters for 'wife' instead of 'girlfriend' on Twitter* I love you too"

"Two native-american boys are walking through a forest One spots a bug on the ground, points to it and says to the other, ""ew, squash it!"" The other says, ""no, i'm pretty sure it's a bug."""

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

"Sometimes having an extra chromosome... really gets me down"

"There was a Spanish magician who said he could disappear. He said he would disappear on the count of 3. He said ""Unos... Dos..."" **POOF** And then he disappeared without a tres."

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They already fell for that once."

"Your mother is so poor she can't even pay attention."

"How did the captain describe the newborn puppy? son-of-a-b***h..!!!"

"A recent study about sexual behavior found out that Only 9/10 people enjoy gang-bangs"