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Joke of the Day

"Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive."

Next Joke
 
"Why did the scarecrow win an award? He was outstanding in his field"
"Women like men with an accent, not an Axe scent"
"Just tell me when and where, and I'll be there 20 minutes late."
"What do you call a baseball player who watches porn? A master batter"
"The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*"
"When your iPod stops working, it floats. Because it doesn't sync."
"A man walks into a bar. A man walks into a bar and takes a seat. The bartender looks up and shouts at him, ""Hey, where the fuck are you going with my bar stool?!"""
"I hate it when people make eye puns... It really makes me *lash* out sometimes"
"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? Reposts."