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Joke of the Day

"Ever heard of the DNA? National Dyslexic Association."

"Swimming Is Good For You... Especially if you are drowning."

"sorry i'm still an undecided voter, but it's hard to pick just one when I love them both so very very much"

"Those Essex Girls Whats the difference between a plat of spaghetti and an Essex girl The plate of spaghetti moves when you eat it!"

"JUDGE: So to be clear, you're pleading not guilty to stealing the child's shoes? ME: [heelies up to the mic] That's correct"

"Why did the melon get married in a church? Because he was in love with a cantaloupe."

"Q: What do you get Devin Hester for Christmas?? A: Nothing - he'll just return it!"

"Why didn't the lifeguard save the drowning hippie? He was too far out man."

"So I was talking to the devil, and I asked him about his job... He told me ""It's soul crushing and I love it."""

"I was born with an extra toe halfway down my leg. It's neato."