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Joke of the Day

"So I was talking to the devil, and I asked him about his job... He told me ""It's soul crushing and I love it."""

"How do you make an elephant float? A can of coke, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and an elephant."

"I opened my front door this morning to find a large black coffin. I gave him a pack of Lockets and told him to fuck off."

"My salad for lunch is missing one key ingredient which would make it perfect. Donuts."

"Did you hear about the fire at the campground? It was in tents"

"""I want to get drunk in public."" ""Me too but on pancake batter."" ""If only there was a way to solve both problems."" -The Origin of Eggnog"

"What do you get when einstein jacks off???? a stroke of genius!!!!! (its terrible, i know)"

"I don't know why people are surprised when I tell them my Grandfather Made it out of Auschwitz. Most of the German officers did."

"*Sees dead cat on the road. Walk it off buddy, you got 8 more."

"What is the difference between the Cleveland Browns and Santa...... Santa is still relevent in december"