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Joke of the Day

"What's the matter son? The boy next door said I look just like you? What did you say? Nothing he's bigger than me !"

Next Joke
 
"So my teacher asked why I was failing my loud music class... I told him the subject just wasn't my forte"
"What do you call a bulimic tree? Sycamore."
"Me: Do you like the new ceiling fan? Her: Yeah, but the fan light is really dull. Fan light: Ok wow like I'm right here"
"Chinese takeaway - 17 Delivery charge - 1 Realising the idiots have forgot one of your containers - Riceless"
"[Pulled over] Sir do you know how fast you were going? MY DOG IS IN LABOR! Oh! In that case *scribbles* Here is a ticket for littering."
"Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness."
"Damn girl, are you from Syria? Because you're revolting."
"We often criticize pedophiles... but they, at least, drive slowly near schools."
"Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!"