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Joke of the Day

"What's better than winning gold at the special Olympics? Walking"

"Why did the Tour de France get raided? The police heard it was full of pedal-philes."

"Dead baby joke What the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of sand? I don't eat sand."

"Do you know what Jafar's original name was? Male-ficient."

"What does 2 electrons say when the meet each other ? Hey, watt's up ?"

"THERAPIST: Your notes say that you ""scare easily"" and are ""quite disagreeable"". ME: *from behind the couch* That's not true."

"My girlfriend asked, ""Why do we always stay home for dinner and never eat out?"" Obviously if I was any good at eating out, then you wouldn't be complaining about staying home."

"My dog cant hear me yelling at him to stop chasing squirrels, but he can hear a damn cheese wrapper from 500 miles away"

"Me: My weight is up. I really hate winter. Him: Don't be discouraged. You'll bounce back in spring once you shave your legs."

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up."