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Joke of the Day

"I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up."

"One liner I thought of and giggled at the other day A wise man once said, ""Love is all you need. And Kevlar."" I made up that last part."

"I'm cursed to end every statement I make with Bruno Mars lyrics Don't believe me? Just watch."

"So I used to sleep on my carpet... I'd have to say, it was a pretty flooring experience."

"What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"I was gonna tell you a joke so funny you'd laugh your dick off... but it looks like you already heard it."

"I hope Jessica Biel names her first child Batmo."

"What's the difference between the 7 dwarfs and a girl's high school track team? The 7 dwarfs are a bunch of cunning runts..."

"I recently went to a gathering for turtles... ..bit dull. None of us came out of our shell."

"I got jury duty next week My duty is to convince the jury that I didn't do it."