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Joke of the Day

"If being successful was an amusement park, I'm the kid that drove his bumper car in the corner and can't get out."

"Best blunt / straight to the point jokes of all time? What do you call a boomerang that dosen't come back? A stick"

"Why did the console peasant cross the street? To render the building on the other side!"

"I was recently diagnosed with mesothelioma it's tough sometimes, but I'm doing asbestos I can."

"What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? Bird flu you get tweetment, swine flu you get oinkment."

"I'm such a great chick magnet Too bad I'm the kind that repels rather than attracts"

"My wife is a liar! Last night I texted her and asked here where she was, she said with her sister Emma. I was with her sister Emma!!"

"Why do no communists drink Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft."

"The Blonde Waitress Customer: Can I have some coffee without cream please? Blonde Waitress: We are fresh out of cream, sir. Can I bring you coffee without milk instead?"

"What do you call a black guy and an indian guy flying a plane? Pilots.......you racist idiot."