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Joke of the Day

"My wife is a liar! Last night I texted her and asked here where she was, she said with her sister Emma. I was with her sister Emma!!"

"Time travel I was gonna do a joke about time travel... but no one liked it."

"Samsung should focus their marketing toward criminals They could completely monopolize the burner phone industry."

"Urban Outfitters is just Spencer Gifts in a fedora."

"What do you call an overweight homosexual? Jigglypuff."

"Watches my wife cut the 2 yr. olds apple juice with water ... *Hauntingly second guesses every drink she's ever mixed for me now"

"Woke up and saw my shadow and it looked fat. Six more weeks of self-loathing."

"What's black and white and red all over... An interracial couple getting what they deserved."

"Yo mamma so fat collection..."

"Why does Trump love babies. Because one day when they are old enough, he'll either Fire em or Fuck em."