9326

Joke of the Day

"You're supposed to pee on a Jellyfish sting and not a jelly stain? Well that was really embarrassing."

"A historian and an economist are sitting on the porch of a nudist colony... The historian asks, ""Have you read Marx?"" The economist replies, ""Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."""

"""Why are all the good ones either married, gay or the Son of God?"" - Mary Magdalene."

"So if pro's are the opposite of con's... Then what is the opposite of progress?"

"A feminist is seen bathing on the beach Oh wait, just a beached whale"

"Why doesn't Kylo Ren's lightsaber look like a normal lightsaber? Because it's a First Order approximation."

"It is a little known fact that the Bermuda Triangle used to be called the Bermuda Rectangle.Until one side mysteriously disappeared."

"[giving grandmother's eulogy] But on the plus side, that's the fastest she ever got down the stairs."

"If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut. If I do the same thing then I'm gay"

"Can you cover for me/ I missed my shift."