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Joke of the Day

"""What? Why am I a part of this?"" - the horse you rode in on"

"If the voices in my head had a British accent, I would do what they say more often."

"What do you call a paraplegic with an incurable STD? Roll-aids."

"Why are there no mexican in the olympics? Because any Mexican that can run, jump or swim is in america!"

"I wanted to start my vegan diet but apparently cannibalism is frowned upon."

"So, I need an aquaculture licence to keep fish in a barrel and a firearms licence to shoot them. This is not as easy as I was led to believe"

"When I hear someone complain that their towns are boring with nothing to do, all I hear is a boring person who doesn't know how to have fun."

"Want to hear a quality joke about knives? On second thought, I can't tell it. It's too edgy"

"Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha."

"What did the kleptomaniacal compulsive liar say when his beekeeper friend asked him what he was running away with? ""None of your beeswax!"""