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Joke of the Day

"[Whole Foods] ME: Hi CLERK: Hello ME: Do you...uh CLERK: Do we what? ME: Do you have any...uh CLERK: Go on ME: Do you have any Half Foods?"

"fovorite irish jokes? how does an irish duck say hello... whats the quack? - this may be the worst irish joke ever... does anyone have an irish joke worse than this?"

"2014 Drivers Manual: ""When a signal turns green, honk once to indicate to the car in front of you that they need to lower their smartphone."""

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""

"A Prius just tried to race me from a stop sign. I totally had it for the first 100 feet, but I can only walk so fast."

"Did you blow bubbles as a little kid? I saw him last week, he told me to tell you hi."

"How do you get a drummer off your doorstep? You pay for the pizza."

"What do you call a lizard who can't easily have sex? A reptile dysfunction"

"I'm giving up eating food off the floor for Lent"

"How do you call a lesbian dinosaur Lickalotopus"