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Joke of the Day

"So a guy walks in on his daughter masterbating with a cucumber. ""SICK!"" he said. ""I was going to eat that.... Now it's going to taste like cucumber."""

"A dyslexic guy walks into a bra."

"My lovelife is like a ferrari. I can't afford it."

"The only ones awake 3am are the lonely & the loved. And also the sick who have to take antibiotics & pain killers."

"I met a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray. Crazy conversations, he was definitely a seasoned veteran."

"My FitBit app says I sleep walked 20 steps last night, glad I was asleep during all that damn exercise."

"Bill Cosby is going to have a new show Women Say the Darndest Things"

"What is her Majesty the Queen's console of choice? The Royal Wii."

"Hitler wasn't that bad. C'mon, he killed Hitler."

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Just wait, they'll tell you"