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Joke of the Day

"Mars and NASA Mars: Come over NASA: You're 33.9 million miles away Mars: I'm wet NASA: I'm coming over"

"Did you hear about the guy who escaped from a lunatic asylum, raped a bunch of old women in a laundrette then ran away? The newspaper headlines the next day read: #**NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**#"

"There's 2 statues in a dark room, what did one statue say to the other statue? Is statue?"

"My deodorant is called ""state's evidence""... Part of the Wetness Protection program."

"Got fired from the firedepartment Guess putting a sticker saying 'find em hot and leave em dripping' wasn't a good thing to put on our truck"

"Doing sexual favors for spaghetti dinners ...makes you a pastatute"

"I just saw a pregnant woman I'd like to make double-pregnant."

"Why is a dance like a bowl of cereal? They are both more enjoyable with dates!"

"*Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*"

"What is that white thing in my pork&beans? The Queen Bean. *Blatantly stolen from Ren & Stimpy"