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Joke of the Day
"Doing sexual favors for spaghetti dinners ...makes you a pastatute"
Next Joke
"ACHOO! Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit."
"If water is h20, what is ice H2O^3"
"The new $100 bills are insane. A purple stripe, the hologram thingy, the Ben Franklin that says ""kill, kill, kill"" as his eyes swirl..."
"Sometimes when my dogs piss me off I put their leashes on them, then I sit on the toilet for 20 mins and make them watch."
"Give a toddler a crayon and he will eat that crayon. Teach him how to color and he will eat more crayons."
"I'm the Jason Bourne of avoiding people I know at Starbucks."
"My horse had a win at the races today. Fuck knows how he filled in the betting slip."
"craigslist -> jobs -> Wanted: Pet psychic. Need proof my dog hates my fashion sense. Must be fine with nudity. This is not a sex thing."
"You know you've overplayed Mario Kart 64 when the next morning you Instinctively swerve to avoid a banana skin on the road."