201725
Joke of the Day
"I just saw a pregnant woman I'd like to make double-pregnant."
Next Joke
"There's a new channel called DOG TV that offers 24 hours of programming to entertain dogs while their owners are gone. My dog doesn't want to watch TV I just got him an iPad."
"What is a dog lover's favorite cookie? Keebler"
"When can you count on a hamburger in an emergency? When the chips are down!"
"I exercise religiously I go to the gym for an hour on Sunday morning and then don't think about it again for the rest of the week."
"What do you call a terrible Nature Valley bar? Crummy"
"Getting a tub. Filling it with cookies. Pouring milk over it. Pretending to eat a giant's cereal. Horrifying my wife."
"Maybe Van Gogh cut his ear off because someone traveled back in time and whispered a Drake song in it."
"Sarc... ...It is my second favorite asm. (And nobody fucking fainted)"
"What's a pet's favorite day? ...Saint Petrick's Day"