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Joke of the Day

"When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone... he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris"

"Dating a single mother.... It's like continuing from somebody else's saved game."

"Where do ants go for their holidays ? Frants !"

"Why did the dog sit in the front seat of the car? Because the car had a sun ""woof""! Yes, I made this up myself. Yes, I have no friends."

"[first day as a masseuse] Me: [closing book] ""...& they all lived happily ever after"" Customer: ""That's not what I meant by 'happy ending'"""

"Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields."

"What if Daft Punk is just a couple of rad old ladies who met in knitting club and shared a love of sick beats?"

"How do you restore your body back to 'factory settings'? Is it kale? it's kale, isn't it? please don't say kale."

"If you can't hang Don't be a runaway slave"

"A man with a sheep A man goes home with a sheep under his arm and says ""this is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says "" that's not a pig, that's a sheep."" The man says ""I wasn't talking to you."""