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Joke of the Day

"Grammar Tip: When the zombie apocalypse starts I will be using people who write 'would of' instead of 'would have' as human shields."

"Memories. That's how I want to be remembered."

"What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer? Comet! =D"

"If my calculations are correct, slinky + escalator = everlasting fun."

"McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!"

"So where do you see yourself in 5 years? How am I supposed to know, I don't have 2020 vision!"

"Me: Okay 2 it's time for bed 2: NO! Mommy go to bed Me: Okay *goes to bed"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"A bum gets on a bus and walks past a nun. The nun says ""youre going to hell"". The bum yells ""Damn, Im on the wrong bus"" ! :D"

"4 out of 5 dentists agree: kill a lion."