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Joke of the Day

"Ha ha! OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! ""dude, are you gonna do this every time you rearrange the furniture"""

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels. This joke is great for determining someones sense of humor."

"However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight."

"Colonel Mustard invited me to the library to check out his candlestick collection, but I dunno... I got a bad feeling."

"If your toilet paper roll is on the wrong way, I'll fix it and then never come over again."

"It was a pain to clean up after carrying out my fetish for the first time. But its definitely a load off my chest."

"90s Kids won't get this............ Social Security Benefits."

"Who invented the North America? TEACHER: Sarah, go to the map and find North America. SARAH: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?CLASS: Sarah!"

"If I had a nickel for every time I thought of you I'd start thinking about you."