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Joke of the Day

"Stop editing ya'll pics. What if you go missing? how you expect us to find you if you look like beyonce on facebook & chief keef in person."

"My favorite prank phone-call gag when I was a child: Call store, ask, ""Do you have cotton-balls?"" After confirmation that the store has cotton-balls, ""Does it tickle when you walk?"""

"Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder? He made a spectacle of himself..."

"Why did the ""upright man"", a humanoid species, went extinct 70.000 years ago? Because they got homo e-rekt-us."

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."

"What's the difference between a scaffold and a magnet? A magnet only has two Poles."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him, he's not coming."

"I'm leaving my job at the ship yard to be a contestant on The Apprentice. I don't know a lot about the world of business, but I'm good at making sails."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies"

"Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded."