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Joke of the Day

"However lonely you feel, you're never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house. Goodnight."

"Rules for texting a girl: 1. Don't take 40 minutes to reply. 2. Use good grammar. 3. Ask Questions. 4. Use the face."

"I don't have a problem sharing my funny stuff with ya'll here as you c0py & paste to your Facebook, it's the damn Twitter crew I can't stand with their self righteousness and egos."

"""The first law of thermodynamics... ... is that you don't talk about thermodynamics."" My lecturer's a hoot."

"Gay guys are OK... ... they're just indifferent."

"The first guy to clap was really weird ""I enjoyed this so I'm going to hit my hand with my other hand to show my appreciation"""

"My Gladiator DVD stopped working... Talk about an *epic* fail."

"Justin Bieber songs are much more enjoyable when you replace the word ""girl"" with ""gerbil""."

"What did the baby call the strip club? An all you can eat buffet"

"I got a blow up doll, that was Made in Baghdad Problem is... it blew itself up"