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Joke of the Day

"How many 9GAGers does it take to change a lightbulb? Exactly the same amount as the Redditors on /r/AdviceAnimals and /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu ."

"Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo!!"

"When I was a kid my younger cousin always cheated at freeze tag, So I wasn't surprised when I heard he got shot by the cops"

"INTERVIEWER: Says here you have sloth-like reflexes? ME: *calls interviewer 3 years later* That is correct."

"8- Dad, why is there oxygen on earth, but not on any other planet? M- Are you sure you just don't want to know where baby's come from?"

"I do yoga so I can dress myself when I'm single."

"""Mommy, why do I have black skin and you have white skin?"" ""Honey, when I think back to that night, you're lucky you don't bark."""

"Why did the hippie stick his penis in the chick peas? Because he was a hummusexual..."

"Prove that lightning isn't wizards fighting. You can't."

"Why can't you purchase minerals by the gallon? They only come in quarts(z)"