92550

Joke of the Day

"How many heretics does it take to change a lightbulb? We're not sure, they've yet to see the light."

"its 2013 fellas, if youre saying anything other than ""punch out a grumpy"" to describe taking a crap youre a dinosaur"

"If you watch Jurassic Park backwards, it's an uplifting film about dinosaurs and people who work together to rebuild an island."

"me: could my thighs get any bigger? *sits down* me: oh look now they're the size of Australia"

"What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until you're 13 before it comes on your face."

"Grammar Nazi If somebody who is really anal about proper grammar is called a Grammar Nazi, is someone who constantly makes grammatical mistakes a Grammar Jew?"

"""I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."" Hotel Clerk ""No, it's regular porn, you sick bitch."""

"What do you call a developmentally challenged member of the ruling elite? An autistocrat."

"I just overheard my kid muttering ""I'm sorry you had to see that"" to a stuffed toy. It's probably best not to ask what ""that"" was right?"

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"