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Joke of the Day

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the impressed bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that? "" The parrot shrieks.... ""*AFRICA!*"""

"I hate how funerals are always at 9-10 AM... I'm not really a mourning person"

"With great power comes a great electric bill."

"The grammar teacher said ""In English, two negatives make an affirmative, but two affirmatives never make a negative."" A student replied... ""Yeah, right!"""

"You've got a face even an Instagram filter couldn't fix."

"Why was the phone wearing glasses?... Because it lost all its contacts!"

"What happened when Cinderella got to the ball? She choked."

"[At work] ""guys check this out"" [Tries to do the fake walking downstairs thing but gets it wrong & walks up into the air] ""Holy shit help"""

"Why is French person a better team player than a pirate? The pirate says, ""Aye, aye!"" The French says, ""Oui, oui!"""

"We all exist due to a radioactive explosion that formed the universe and with endless posibilities... ...you're sitting on your computer reading jokes on the internet."