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Joke of the Day

"A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar, and the impressed bartender asks: ""Where'd you get that? "" The parrot shrieks.... ""*AFRICA!*"""

"Australian politics"

"My New Years Resolution is to be more positive and less sarcastic...I wonder how long this bull$hit fantasy will last."

"I was going to take another trip to the pencil museum but decided it was pointless."

"A Jewish boy goes to his father and asks for 50 cents... ""I don't have 40 cents. What do you want with 30 cents? Here's 20 cents."""

"Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants? because they serve Poutine."

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly your cock into a girls mouth. -the daily show"

"This year's Pulitzer Prize for Fiction... will probably go to some guy explaining why he had an Ashley Madison account."

"99 problems and pizza solves every single 1"

"I'm not going back to school ever again Why ever not? The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!"