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Joke of the Day

"I'm not going back to school ever again Why ever not? The teacher doesn't know a thing all she does is ask questions!"

"The Oregon Problem The latest opinion-type poll Says Oregon's out of control Football - U of O Marijuana - you know Both of them got ""smoked in a bowl"""

"I caught my wife in bed with another man, I was crushed... So I said, ""Get off me you two!"""

"Our society makes women ashamed and unhappy with their bodies. I, for one, have always been disappointed by the lack of cupholders on mine."

"How did Hitler tie his shoes? With little knotsies."

"My standards are so high they just recorded a reggae song."

"I'm No Gynaecologist... ...but I know a cunt when I see one."

"Even if you're really tired, never try to hold your eyes open using toothpicks. DAMN YOU 1970'S CARTOONS AND ALL OF YOUR FALLACIES!"

"Can someone throw Kevin Bacon in the freezing Artic waters and give him hypothermia? I NEED this six degrees of Kevin Bacon joke."

"When folks unfollow me shortly after they've followed me I just figure they sobered up."