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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""I saw a huge owl on my way home. Almost hit it with my car."" Me: ""Wow!"" Wife: ""Sorry, the correct response is 'O RLY?'"""

"so sick of people who aren't Beyonce"

"Hey girl, do you like bad boys? *tries to look cool by flicking my cig, but it's an e-cig so I have to run and get it*"

"What is it called when a black man murders his friends? Homiecide"

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."

"What do you call a nutritionist who sidelines as an automotive journalist? A carb-o-rater"

"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"

"Riding a donkey If you are riding on a donkey and someone throws rocks at you til you fall off, does that mean you are stoned off your ass?"

"Do you like pork hocks? * Do you like pork hocks in your mouth? * You're a gay pig."

"Two wrongs don't make a right Take your parents for example"