32276
Joke of the Day
"I think people are getting sick of my jokes when they exhale deeply I should take it as a sigh-n"
Next Joke
"They should make fortune cookies with more obtainable fortunes: You will vacuum the living room. You will run into the coffee table."
"Me: *pouts at front facing camera* Front facing camera: I have a girlfriend."
"The difference between a tire and a black man... A tire doesnt start to rap when you put chains on it."
"If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again."
"Hope having cream on my hands and not being able to turn a doorknob is as close to being in jail as I get."
"You know what they say, so I won't tell you."
"""You know your addiction is bad when you lie and say you're at the gym when really you're out shopping"" is the title of my autobiography."
"Avoid the horror of watching your children's nativity this year by using a condom approximately six years before you have to attend."
"How many Apple employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I don't know, because they charge you $500 for the iLightbulb."