92222

Joke of the Day

"[kisses daughter goodnight] Sleep tight. ""Daddy, where do babies come from?"" Amazon. ""Why's it take 9 months?"" Shipping. Go to sleep."

"What did Hamlet say when he was thinking of sending a message? To e or not to e that is the question."

"What's the object of Jewish football? Get the quarter back."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that...it's a tie."

"1. Pick jeans to wear 2. Pull them up to thighs 3. Pants dance for 3 minutes 4. Take pants off 5. Put sweatpants on 6. Cry, eat pumpkin pie"

"This lady cashier asked me if I wanted it ""double bagged""...I said ""No, you're not THAT ugly..."" And that's why I'm not allowed in Target."

"The freebie-jeebies That feeling you get when someone creepy buys you a drink without asking."

"The three different types of rooster What does a rooster say? Cock-a-doodle-doo What does a crazy rooster say? Doodle-doodle-cock What does a Gay rooster say? Any-cockle-do"

"What do you call a dog wearing a watch? You would call it a dog. A dog wearing a watch is not a watchdog."

"My girlfriend told me to stop singing ""Wonderwall"". I said Maybe!!"