80321

Joke of the Day

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that...it's a tie."

"So I heard the Brits have a new dating app It's called Kinder."

"Why don't girls have beards? It's in their ""jeans"" ;)"

"There are four things that you can look at into infinity. A flowing water, blazing fire, a woman parking her car, and - in one case - the ceiling of the mausoleum."

"My brother was in a car accident yesterday and lost his left arm and left leg. Well actually, he's not my brother... he's my half-brother. He's all right now."

"My girlfriend complained that I never listen to her. At least that's what I think she said."

"Almond Butter: For people that like peanut butter but don't want to be happy."

"Dog: I like pizza. Me: You've never had pizza. Dog: It's food. Me: So? Dog: So I like it. Me: I'm not giving you my pizza."

"What did the flight attendant say to get the attention of the plane full of Kim Basinger clones? ""Attention Basingers"" hahaha"

"Thirty seven years ago, my wife walked out on me because apparently, I hold on to grudges too long. What a bitch."