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Joke of the Day

"The three different types of rooster What does a rooster say? Cock-a-doodle-doo What does a crazy rooster say? Doodle-doodle-cock What does a Gay rooster say? Any-cockle-do"

"Am I the only one who wants to write ""Over"" at the end of my tweets? Over."

"Just put 3 sugar cubes in my tea, and by sugar, I mean xanax, because sugar is really bad for you.."

"What's the hardest part to eat on a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"I'm impressed with my mom's commitment to saying the word 'the' before every noun. Example: the Walgreens, the AIDS, the Fox News, the Adele"

"When somebody I blocked gets RT'd into my timeline it's like they're violating their restraining order."

"""Your password is weak"" You're the weak one And you'll never know love Or friendship And I feel sorry for you"

"What body part never seems to win? The feet."

"The woman who will be on the $10 bill has been announced and it's. . . Caitlyn Jenner-Hamilton"

"If Catholics are in a demonstration... ... Are they Protestants?"