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Joke of the Day

"When I jerk off I like to sit on my other hand until it gets numb, then change to that hand right at the last minute . . . I call it ""the old 'bate and switch""!"

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"What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together."
"Why is the Joker's makeup like a whitewashed tomb, his lips like torn paper, his eyes like burning suns? Because when he was young, the Joker's father said ""Let's put a simile on that face!"""
"What's Irish and sits out in the rain? Paddy o' Furniture"
"Guy runs into a bar, yells ""Quick! How tall is a penguin?"" Bartender says ""Three feet tall."" Guy says ""Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!"""
"Did you know ""bathtub"" backwards is still ""bathtub""? It's not, but for a second there you believed me."
"So this dude is like, ""Where are you going with all that Element 83?"" and I was like ""None of your bismuth"""
"How did the pilot like his hotdog? Plane."
"So Donald Trump is running for President..."
"PLEASE PEOPLE: Don't forget to ""like"" before you copy & paste. Thank you."