92167

Joke of the Day

"When people say they're a foodie it's no big deal.. but when people find I'm a drinker they're all ""stop the car"" and ""we're calling the police""."

"There was a black out in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him."

"There's a fine line between being tan and looking like you were rolled in Doritos."

"Q. How did a blind girl burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle iron"

"All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s."

"How do you make a peanut butter and Reddit sandwich? You spreddit."

"I wanted to stop for McDonald's this morning but the line was too wide."

"Why do we still call them newspapers when most of them aren't on paper... and most of them don't contain news?"

"It's like these credit card companies don't even care that I'm an electric accordionist for South Dakota's finest heavy metal parody band."

"What is the difference between a gay man and a freezer? A freezer doesn't fart when you pull meat out of it."