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Joke of the Day

"All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s."

"allentine's ay. For those of you who won't be getting the V or the D on Feb. 14th."

"Top of my Med School Class: I don't just play God, I win. *definitely not remotely true*"

"Why were Kay's pets scared of Kay? because... K8 K9"

"I hope there will be a riot where I live... I really want to have an Xbox one and a new TV."

"Why do spies never use capitalization? They like to stay low-key."

"They asked if I could perform the castration. I said I could pull it off."

"I forgive you, but I hope your death is written, produced, and directed by Quentin Tarantino."

"I like my coffee how I like my women. Without some other guys dick in it."

"Spilling a beer... ...is the adult equivalent to losing a balloon."