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Joke of the Day
"I wanted to stop for McDonald's this morning but the line was too wide."
Next Joke
"Why are men smarter during sex? Because during sex they're plugged into a fucking know-it-all!"
"What does a mod do in their spare time? [Deleted]"
"Responsible parents should teach their kids that it's not the person you hate, it's their guts."
"My wife tried imitating the weird groaning sound her car is making, and all three auto mechanics asked her out."
"What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit? At Olive Garden the servers actually work."
"Every time I pour a round of drinks, it goes all over the place. I think I need glasses."
"I talk like a sailor in front of my kid. He's gonna swear anyway and I want him to be good at it."
"I asked my wife what she wanted for Christmas. She told me ""Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace"" So I bought her nothing."
"A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse."