92098

Joke of the Day

"Why did the sweet toothed scientist blow up his monkey? He wanted some Rhesus pieces."

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."

"My boss called me lazy and said I had poor communication skills... I almost responded"

"What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? I just passed your friend in the woods."

"Her: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! Me: *puts naked Barbie away. 'It's not VooDoo if that's what you think! Her:Freak! Me:Did you feel--anything?"

"Man, boobs are amazing!"

"Sometimes I forget I'm from Florida and then I remember when I was 9, my dad had me drive the golf cart so he could get drunk on the course."

"My new cat, John Cena, wants me to remind y'all to never let your kids name your pets."

"Why couldn't the teddy bear smell? Because his nose was stuffed"

"If your drug dealer answers your call on the first ring .... he's a cop."