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Joke of the Day

"If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup."

"how does it make you feel that your left hand has never touched your left elbow and your right hand has never touched your right elbow"

"With everything going on at reddit you would think that Pao would at least regreddit :)"

"HEY DISNEY: If Cinderella's shoe fit so perfectly, why'd it fall off? Yeah, time to do some critical thinking."

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? A salad shooter."

"People with Bluetooth headsets always look like the least important people you could possibly call."

"*First Date* Her: Hobbies? *thinks about the 50,000 piece Lego Death Star I'm building* Me: Architecture and Astronomy. Her: Impressive."

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice Belt."

"My friend said he had a hole in his sock. I replied, ""Darn it!"""

"[The Price is Right Wheel-O-Fate stops on the symbol] DREW: ooh that's 8 days in the hole CONTESTANT: what? [hole opens in the ground]"