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Joke of the Day

"The fridge is a clear example that what really matters is what is inside."

"Guy behind me at a concert recording with his iPad was pissed when I held up my 40"" monitor that was hooked to my laptop, blocking his view"

"We're out of duct tape, craft glue, and frozen orange juice because I made a sandwich while I was drunk last night."

"[How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]"

"congrats Seahawks on winning the super bowl from all of here in the 3rd world countries"

"Stop screaming! I thought you'd appreciate having someone to pass you a towel when you got out of the shower"

"The depressing thing about tennis is that you'll never be as good as a wall"

"Did you hear about the man with five penises? His pants fit like a glove!"

"What did the the physiatrist say to the electron You have a lot of negative energy built up"

"I walked in on my girlfriend cheating. I don't know what I ever saw in her... ..well, except for another dude's penis."